Thursday, March 29, 2012

When My Mind Plays With Me

Early this morning, I'm sitting at home, listening to music, editing some of my new photos, when I hear a big thump in the basement. What happens when a girl is home alone, she starts to think about monsters. At first I was just going to willy nilly go downstairs and see what fell then something occurred to me... my firearms are stored downstairs and now the monsters are armed.

Me and my cat minions

Yes, I have my cat minions and they are quite capable. My cats are Anubis, 9kg and all muscle, Phaedrus, 8kg strong and sarcastic (yes, cats can be sarcastic), and Bettie Paige, 2 kg and feisty! I'm just not sure what they can do against monsters armed with my husband's AR15 and a 12 gauge shot gun or two.

Now it took four seconds for my mind to come up with this scenario. The monsters quietly tunnelled up under my house straight into the locked room so they don't need the first set of keys. This is an amazing feat as my basement, like most others is concrete. Being monsters, they get into the safe (that was the thump you see.) They now have my guns. I'm not sure why they need them but they have them. Unfortunately, I heard the thump of the safe cracking so I interrupt their escape armed only with cat minions. Of course this is where all my problems would begin!

The Leader of the Tunnel Monsters

See why firearms laws need to change! If I had a place to store firearms upstairs or could store them a touch differently OR was even allowed to defend myself against basement tunnelling gun stealing monsters with firearms, this wouldn't be a problem. Well, it still might be as the really cool guns would still be downstairs but at least I would have a fighting chance. Next there could be spiders, I mean really big ones, like the one in my sink in Tofino that made me scream so loud that my neighbour thought I was being murdered and did in fact come to my rescue. It had facial expressions and I'm pretty sure if I went at it with a baseball bat it would have taken it from me but I digress.

In all seriousness, gun storage safety is always a top priority in any household and self defence with or without a firearm should be taught, especially to women. I was by no means in danger today but there is always that “what if” in the back of my mind. Being that I'm in Canada, I have some of that female self-defence-kick 'em-and-runaway training. I have a very protective husband so I've never had to use it. He's got this amazing advantage over most people, he just stands there and looks menacingly big! We don't get bothered much, anywhere, ever. It's just too bad I didn't have him here this morning to go face the tunnelling thieving monsters in my basement.

Me and My Husband


  1. Those cats sound dangerous...

    Don't you need to register those?

    1. That's why they get the ear tattoos. Anubis is a prohib (as he loves only me), Phaedrus and Bettie are both restricted's. ;) Anyone who's met my cats will verify this for you.